I say "fake" because it's now known that our calendars were changed to mess with the circadian rhythm of humanity up.  We are supposed to have 13 months per year... not 12.  October for example... Octo means EIGHT... it's supposed to be the eighth month of the year... not the 10th.  September should be the seventh.... as SEPT means seven.  Somewhere along the way.... humanity was bamboozled.  The actual REAL "New Year" is in Mid-March/April.  That's the real reason for April Fools Day.  SPRING is supposed to be the beginning of the year when NEW LIFE blooms.  Not in the middle of the DEAD (death) of winter.  But any-who.....   For 2026... My main focus needs to be learning to love myself more.  Learning alignment and working on my manifestation goals.  I'm not in a bad place... but in my personal life... I've been stuck for years and would like to create better for myself.   One thing I am so good at is "procrastination"... and that needs to stop. I am so good at wasting time or pushing things to the last minute.  I've started to journal so I can be somewhat accountable to myself... as I refocus, realign and remind myself where I want to be... or where I want to go this year.  I think one of the things that keeps me so distracted is all the corruption and criminal things that are being done to humanity.   It REALLY bothers me that I see it... and so many others don't.  I just don't know how humanity is going to stop something they don't even realize is a problem. I worry a lot.  I worry about my kids... my grandkids.... and the direction the criminal elite are sending them in... sending all of us in.  Most don't even realize it.  But in focusing so much of my time on that worry.... I put aside everything in my own life that needs to be done.  I HAVE TO GET BACK TO ME.  A huge source of distraction in my life is Facebook.  I really need to close my FB account down.  It's such a waste of time in my life.  I need to get back to nature, meditation and family.   I've lost myself.... and I need to find me again.  This is my hope for this year.  That I find what brings me love, joy and peace.  That I find what brings me back to finding myself and being ME again. 

Taking a break from Facebook is giving me some time to reflect on the little things in my life that I'm grateful for. 

My daughter for Christmas a year or two ago gave me these cute little Snoopy ceramic cups.  A set of two.  She knew I was a Snoopy lover and that Snoopy had a significant meaning to my childhood.  I even still have my very first stuffed Snoopy from when I was 3 years old. 

These little cups are smaller than your traditional "coffee cup", and at the time I thought... Oh, how cute... but they will probably just sit in my cupboard and collect dust.  

Oh no.... being smaller, I discovered that these make the perfect little tea cup.  I use these cups all the time now for my evening tea time.   (I like Sleepy Time Tea and mint tea mixed together.)  Especially in winter when it's cold... I so appreciate a cup of hot tea before bed. 

Its so funny, years ago I just couldn't get used to drinking tea... now I drink it all the time!  Especially loose leaf tea... I love making my own herbal concoctions based on medicinal needs.  I'm a little herbalist now... in the making.

Grateful for my Snoopy Cups.  Thank you Ashley! 
❤️

Jolleen Jocelyn born 3-22-22.   But I call her my little Jo-Jo Jellybean ❤️

Today I will accept, cherish and love ME...
and strive to be the best that I can be.

Today.... I will blossom, embrace love,
and turn to face the shining sun...
and I won't look behind.
I will push any darkness, self doubt
and negative thoughts out of my mind.

Today... I will focus on filling myself with
love, light, joy and all things positive.
Reminding myself that FOR myself
I can be self-uplifting and supportive.

Today.... I give myself permission
to let my inner light SHINE....
trusting in the Universe with a knowing
that everything always turns out just fine.

Today.... I will fill my heart with gratitude
and put my mind at rest
knowing deep inside I am doing my very best

.... TO BELIEVE IN ME.

(Author Unknown)

There are actually TEN episodes to this series.... you can find them here.   Gotta buy them though.... https://go2.thetruthaboutvaccines.com/docuseries/episode-3/    (No I don't make any money if you buy it... I'm just sharing info... and no, I don't agree with them charging so much for the entire series.  But... then again.... this is probably the most important information of your life and your child's life.)

Today I saw a video, and it made me think of a story from my life.... in a weird round-about way.  But I will get to that... for now.... THIS is the link to the video I saw and it got me thinking.  Be sure to read his caption connected to that video....  "THEY ARE BLAMING US FOR THESE TOWERS CATCHING FIRE.... BUT THEY ARE CATCHING FIRE ON THEIR OWN"..  https://www.facebook.com/cody.klumbis/videos/1589947761168305/UzpfSTEwNjU5ODg3NTg6MTAyMTk4MzM1MTgxNjI4MTc/

So why did this make me think of a story in my life?  It made me think of WHY these towers are all catching fire on their own.  It made me think of the possibility of the POWER of our minds and our collective thoughts.  It made me think of the three times in my personal life when my own mental powers caused something to happen. 

Before I tell these three stories... I want you to think for a second.   Why is there one (or more) "black mirror", black box, brain washing BOX that we call Televisions (meaning we are going to TELL you how we want you to enVISION the world).  Why was so much money and effort put into a secret military project that we all know about now called "MK Ultra"?  Why is there so much effort put into "entertainment".... movies, TV shows, commercials, sitcoms, talk shows, NEWS (dear God the news), etc.  Why is Hollywood controlled through blackmail, bribes and pedophilia?  Why are there whispers that Hollywood is controlled by the Government / CIA using Satanism as the way to rise to the top and become all powerful? 

Because its all about keeping your MIND and emotions (feelings) controlled.  Its about keeping your mind ENTERTAINED and thinking, dreaming, envisioning what THEY want you to think, dream, vision and ultimately feel and DO.   Look at all the movies and TV shows on Netflix right now.  Most of them are about death, satanic evil, horror, zombies, viruses, contagions, poverty and end of the world type scenarios... and it's been that way for a few years.  Look at the movie THE PURGE.... they are using predictive programming to try and get people to distrust, hate and desire to harm each other. 

You think it's not a big deal.... but I am telling you... IT IS A BIG DEAL.  Everything in life arises out of the mind.  As a man thinks.... SO HE IS.  And the rotten, evil powers that control everything have been working hard to DUMB YOU DOWN... and make you think lesser of yourself and each other.  To always make you feel that you are not good enough, not beautiful enough, not worthy enough.  Look at all the commercials.... buy our products because you suck and you're not good enough... you need our stuff!  

The TV and entertainment industry is used to lower our values, lower our morality, dumb us down and teach us to fear each other.   To hate each other.  To divide and separate you from each other.  They have spent BILLIONS in research through the decades learning how to analyze people for mind control so they can manipulate people.  And it's sad that so many can't see this... or think that it's not possible.  It is possible.... and they have done it... and they are doing it and using all they have learned as a weapon against humanity right now to keep you stuck in a cycle / loop of constant fear and control.
 

Okay.... so here is my stories.   There have been THREE distinct times in my life that I can remember where the power of my mind, words and feelings.... created something to happen in my physical reality.  I've told these three stories to only a few people... but maybe it's time to tell it publicly.  Maybe there are others out there who have had similar experiences.... and if there are.... please comment with your stories!

MY FIRST STORY
This story involves my mother... and she does know about it.  I told her years later as an adult that I did this as a child.  Of course she thinks it's just a coincidence.   But I wonder. 

I was about 11 years old.  We had been living in the house my parents built in Burrillville, RI for about a year. . There was still a lot of work to be done in the yard though as many pine trees had been cut down when they built the house.  I usually had to help my stepfather in the back yard to clear out some of the brush. 

On this particular day... my mother had announced that she was going horseback riding with her friend.  I begged and begged her to please take me with her.  I loved horseback riding and wanted to go so badly instead of working in the yard with my stepfather.  But she told me no.  I cried.  I remember standing in front of my bedroom window watching her car drive away down the 1/4 mile long of a driveway we had.... and I WAS ANGRY.   VERY ANGRY.   As I stood there watching the car drive away.... I thought and spoke out to myself.... "I HOPE SHE FALLS OFF THE HORSE, HAS AN ACCIDENT AND GETS HURT!"  (Yes, apparently I was an evil child.)  Then I begrudgingly went outside to work in the yard with my stepfather.

Lo and behold a few hours later.... my stepfather receives a call that my mother is in the hospital.  She fell off the horse she was riding.  The saddle strap snapped, and she nearly broke her back from the fall.   She went blind for a short period.... was out of work for about 6 months.... and my parents, about a year and a half later.... lost the house they built because of the lost income from this story... and the second story.

Inside I knew what I has thought, said and done.  I had told my grandmother that I thought it was all my fault... but of course she said no... that's not true... it's just a coincidence. 


MY SECOND STORY
This story again involves my mother.  About a year after my first story, I think I was about 12 years old.... I had a project that had to be done for school.  This project was one where you had to team up with someone from your classroom and had to work on the project together after school.  I had invited the girl who I was teamed up with to come to my house to work on the project.  My mother was not in a good mood that day.  She had a doctor's appointment that day.

My friend from school arrived, and I was showing her around the house before we got started.  I thought it was the polite thing to do.  My mother, however, got angry that I was doing that and yelled at me to get in my room and just get working on my project.  (I got yelled at a lot as a child)  I was so embarrassed and so angry that she acted that way in front of my friend from school.  Right after yelling at me, she left for her doctor's appointment.  

Once again.... I stood in front of the window of my bedroom and watched her car drive away down our long driveway.... and I once again cursed her.  With my friend standing right there... and with all that anger I held inside, I said.... "I hope something happens to her, and she ends up in the hospital!"  (Again, evil child... I know.... but there are reasons for that!   I held in a lot as a child.) 

About an hour or two later, my stepfather received a call from her doctor letting him know that she was being rushed to the hospital because she had to have surgery for a blood clot in her leg.  She was in the hospital for a couple days.

Once again, I told my grandmother that I thought I caused my mother to get hurt again.  And once again, my grandmother said that it was nonsense... and it was just a coincidence. 

I never cursed my mother again after that.


MY THIRD STORY
This story happened later in my life right after my Guides proved their existence to me (that story is further below).   I was in my late 30's.   I remember I was standing in the kitchen, and I was doing dishes.  For some reason.... I can't remember why... I was upset and I was crying.  I remember I wanted my psychic friend Brenda to call me.   I kept saying through my tears.... "I wish Brenda would call me.  I wish Brenda would call me."  

Lo and behold.... my phone rings.  I pick it up and it's BRENDA!  I almost dropped the phone.  I said... ."Why are you calling me""   She said.... "I don't know.... I have no idea.   I just heard a voice in my head tell me to call you."

I was blown away!  I couldn't believe she called me.... after I knew I desired it so badly.  But she didn't know that.

*******************************************************************************

I share these stories because I want you to see how it's possible that our thoughts, words and feelings may actually affect our physical reality.   Sure... all of this may be coincidence.... but what if it's NOT?   Have YOU ever had something like that happen?

Call it mental powers or imagination.... same thing.  I believe the power of our imagination is where our true powers reside.  Marry that power of the imagination with FEELINGS and you have an unlimited powerhouse of power.... times billions of us. 

If you are in a situation where you feel trapped (like we all are right now)... the only thing you can really do is think / feel / imagine your way out of it.  They want you to believe you are trapped.  They want you in a great state of FEAR.  They want you to believe you are powerless and weak... when in reality we are powerful beyond our imagination... WE JUST CAN'T SEE IT!  WE JUST DON'T KNOW IT.  Because we are programmed to believe we are all divided... and individually we are insignificant and weak. Which may be true?  BUT.... what if we can all unite on something?  What if we can all unite our mental powers and focus them with precision on something that can help us get out of this control trap we are all in? 

Now to do this.... YOU MUST BELIEVE IN THE POWER WITHIN YOURSELF.... AND YOU MUST BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF OTHERS.  YOU MUST HAVE FAITH IN THE POWER THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN WITHIN YOU... AND YOU MUST HAVE FAITH IN EACH OTHER.  

ELEVATE YOUR POWER.  THINK DIVINE POWER WITHIN.  THINK NAMASTE...

What if collectively we all focused our powers of imagination, feelings and words on a few KEY things during this time?   Maybe if we ALL... or as many of us as we can gather.... focus on these things.... maybe through our true power we can affect change?  

What if we focused for 5 minutes a day... three times a day... on some specific thoughts, feelings and words? 

It seems to be all we have... and we have nothing to lose.

Here are a few ideas of imagination.....

IMAGINE.... 5G towers all around the world setting on fire. Imagine as much detail as you can.  Focus on a specific area... maybe Italy or China or right here in the USA.  So much power and "electricity" (see the Power of Spirit below for why I highlight that word) flows through them.... it must be really easy for them to overheat or get a sudden spark that could catch them on fire.... no? 

IMAGINE....  ALL those involved in the government corruption getting arrested or meeting their KARMA.  It's a lovely thing when KARMA catches up with people.  I think those in power have avoided their KARMA for a very long time now.  It's time for that to STOP.   Especially those involved with the child sex trafficking and satanic ritual abuses.   Now all that can't be allowed to go on now can it?  Not now that we are learning about all this and we now know.

IMAGINE....  More and more TRUTH and evidence of that truth pouring out from all corners of the globe that helps reveal more and more about the lies that have been peddled by those who are responsible for so much destruction and suffering on this planet.  Imagine people bravely stepping forward no longer allowing FEAR to control them... and speaking their truth and sharing their stories about those who have done them and so many others WRONG.  

IMAGINE.... All the world's military awakening and realizing that they are supporting corrupt powers.  Imagine them realizing that they DON'T want to work for corruption or help create a nightmarish, controlled, corrupt world for future generations.  Imagine them wanting to save the children from the sex trafficking.  Imagine them turning their backs on the corruption and fighting FOR the people.  Imagine the military turning their guns from being pointed on the public.... to being pointed at the corrupt elite. 

IMAGINE.... All the satellites in the sky that are currently being used to beam 5G or directed energy weapons or other harmful technologies upon humanity suddenly fail.... crash into other space debris.... maybe get hit by space rocks.... and fall to Earth in a flaming ball of fire into the ocean.  Imagine any other deployment of more satellites failing also.

IMAGINE....  Drones and cameras failing all over the globe mysteriously.  Drones with batteries getting drained and falling to the ground.  Cameras that fail due to electrical malfunction, insects, birds or bad weather.... like hail cracking the glass. 

What is that saying again?  IF WE CAN IMAGINE IT.... WE CAN ACHIEVE IT.

And what if we spoke with focused intention and conviction exactly what we want.   We don't ask.... we command.

• I COMMAND ALL THOSE IN POSITIONS OF POWER WHO USE THEIR POSITIONS OF POWER TO SPREAD LIES, THEFT, WICKEDNESS OR HARM TO THE INNOCENT TO BE BROUGHT TO THEIR KNEES.  
  
  
• I COMMAND ALL DECEPTIONS AND LIES UPON THE PUBLIC TO END SWIFTLY WITH TRUTH RISING FULLY TO THE SURFACE FOR ALL TO SEE AND UNDERSTAND FOR THE FURTHER AWAKENING OF HUMANITY. 
  
  
• I COMMAND ALL ADVANCED TECHNOLOGIES TO FAIL IF IT'S INTENTIONS ARE TO HARM HUMANITY.
  
  

For decades, the elite have had control of your imagination (and fear) through their movies to further their goals.  Think of all the movies showing you what they want for the future... like 2012, Contagion, The Hunger Games, The Day After Tomorrow, 12 Monkeys, Escape From New York, Edge of Tomorrow, Terminator, End Game, Mad Max, Bird Box, Children of Men, The Road, World War Z  and Divergent.... just to name a few.  What if they know that our minds are so powerful... that we can create and expect us to create the realities that they want all along.

What have we got to lose?  We have been told for eons that we are more powerful than we give our selves credit for.  We know our power lies in our mental capacity to envision and create things.  Let's create a world we would be proud to hand over to our children and future generations.  Stop believing we can't.... and believe WE CAN!

I know... it sounds crazy.  But look what we are facing.  NEVER in the history of the planet have we faced anything like this.   A power so great... that wants to kill off 90% of us and then control those that survive over the entire planet by TAGGING (microchip) every human being left on this planet for the control and manipulation of every human being on this planet.  It's insanity.   So crazy times.... call for CRAZY solutions!

Think about all the souls that have died at the hands of corruption.   Think about all those murdered for telling the truth.... but made to look like they committed "suicide" or met some unfortunate accident. (Do you realize how many celebrities are murdered?  Yet they lie and tell you they committed suicide or had an accident.  They always cover it up and use the corrupt controlled media to make you believe what they want you to believe.)

Think about all those murdered that we don't even know about.  Think about the millions of little kids kidnapped and tortured that have been murdered through the decades for the pedophile child sex trafficking ring that has been operating right under our noses.   Think about all the hundreds of thousands of homeless people stolen and used for underground experiments that we didn't even realize were happening. 

THINK ABOUT ALL THOSE MILLIONS OF SOULS.   THINK ABOUT THEM BEING ON THE OTHER SIDE WATCHING AND WANTING JUSTICE FOR ALL THEY ENDURED.... ONLY TO HAVE THE CRIMES OF THEIR DEATHS COVERED UP, CENSORED AND HIDDEN.   THEY ARE ANGRY TOO.... THEY WANT JUSTICE TOO.  THEY WANT TO SEE THE CORRUPT TAKEN DOWN TOO... AND WE NEED TO KEEP IN MIND THAT THEY DO HAVE THE ABILITY TO HELP.  OPEN YOUR MIND.  OPEN YOUR SOUL.  IMAGINE THEY ARE HELPING IN WHATEVER WAY THEY CAN FROM WHERE THEY ARE NOW.  THEY CAN AFFECT ELECTRICAL THINGS.... THEY CAN TURN ELECTRICAL POWER ON, THEY CAN TURN ELECTRICAL POWER OFF,  THEY CAN SURGE ELECTRICAL POWER AND THEY CAN CUT ELECTRICAL POWER.   BELIEVE THEY CAN.... AND THEY CAN. 

I have another story for you.....

The Power of Spirit that can manifest in your life if you believe in it.... is incredible!  I know.... because I have experienced it. 

My daughter, my third child, was probably about five or six years old when this happened.  I know this because on this day she was in school... and had recently started school.  I was in my late 30's and I had started meditating heavily.  Meditating opened up some type of door to the other side that I did not realize was opening. 

I had just finished reading a book by James Van Praagh called "Talking To Heaven" (at least I think that was the book).  At the end of that book, James goes over how we all have Spirit Guides and how we can all ASK them to prove their existence by asking them to manipulate something electric. He said that if they sense that you are ready and can handle it... they will present proof that they are there.  So one day I decided to ask.  

My husband had left for work, and I had just dropped my daughter off at school.  I was alone in the house, and I stood in the kitchen and asked out loud (feeling a bit silly doing it).... "If I have Spirit Guides, please make your presence known to me today.  There are two lamps on each side of that loveseat (I pointed to the loveseat... small couch)... please turn one of them on or off sometime today.  I will give you all day to do it."   James said TIMING is sometimes a problem in the realm of spirit... so I gave them the entire day / night to come through for me. 

The day goes by.... my daughter comes home from school... nothing.   My husband comes home from work... nothing.  We eat dinner... nothing.  My husband had taken home a newspaper that night... and I never really read any newspaper.  But at 7:30, I was sitting on the large couch...  opposite side of the room from the loveseat (small couch) with the newspaper open so I couldn't see the lamps.  At that moment, my husband steps into the room... I hear a "click" from the lamp to the left of the loveseat and see the light on the floor light up under the newspaper.  And that's when my husband freaked out.   He says... "Kehrey!   That lamp just turned itself on!!!  Look at me!!!  I'm standing here.... the lamp is way over there.... I didn't touch that lamp!!!  That lamp just turned itself on!!!"  I put the newspaper down.... looked at the lamp.... looked at him.... flipped the newspaper back up and said, "It's okay.... I asked my Spirit Guides to do that.  Don't worry."   He said.... "YOU WHAT????   OMG.... WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING INTO THIS HOUSE???"   Took me awhile to calm him down and explain... but it was fine. 

And from that time on... Spirit always let me know they were there.  Like the time we were sitting on the couch watching a movie.... and the fireplace poker which was stuck under the wood stove and hanging off the edge of the bricks.... suddenly went "BOOIIINNNNGGGGG"   All by itself.  We looked at each other and I said with a smile.... "I guess we are not alone!"  (My husband was not happy and a little freaked out.... LOL!!!!)

I only tell this story to give you an example that they are very much real, and they CAN manipulate our physical reality when asked... and believed in.

Are we going to fall for the fear.... or choose to side with LOVE?   And choosing LOVE does not mean that you are not entitled to be ANGRY and FURIOUS over what the deceivers have done by manipulating your mind and feelings for decades.  YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY.... and I encourage you to use that anger to fuel your imagination in the creation for JUSTICE to be done.... and balance created for our future generations.   Let your anger make you stronger.... not weaker.... and not stuck in fear.   IMAGINE what should be done to correct all the wrong that has been done. 

We are in a time when things have to change.  I think we could ALL feel it.  We simply could not keep going the way we had been..  So in one way I am thankful that all this is happening because it is halting all that is wrong in the world.   All that we have created based on lies, propaganda, lies, suppression and incorrect information.  . But make no mistake about it.... this is a war.   Because those who are on the side of using evil, fear and hate to manipulate in order to hold on to their positions of power are NOT going to let go of that power easily.  But if we focus our hearts and minds properly, we can use the power of Love to conquer them and make right all that is wrong.   But remember.... that Love can and has to be TOUGH LOVE.  Justice still has to be served to those that deserve it.

BELIEVE IN A HIGHER POWER THAT LOVES AND WANTS TO HELP HUMANITY.

The interview below has to be the most inspirational, uplifting interview I have ever watched in my life.  If you have 50 minutes to spare.... do yourself a favor and watch this interview.  You won't regret it!

In this interview... Lisa mentions two things you must do daily to release the negative thinking we often create in our minds about ourselves.  

1.  Every morning, stand in front of a mirror and look yourself straight in the eyes and speak three sentences seven different times.  State out loud seven different reasons for each sentence topic below.  Add your own words to the name blank and finish the sentence.

• CELEBRATE YOURSELF - "(Your Name), I am proud of you and I celebrate you for...."
• FORGIVE YOURSELF - "(Your Name), I forgive you for... "
• COMMIT TO YOURSELF - "(Your Name), I commit to you, and I will..."

2.  Every day do something that makes you feel like you are INVESTING IN YOURSELF.  Eat healthy, exercise, "get a healing massage" (or receive some other healing modality), put money away in your DREAM FUND, fill your mind with positive images of the future, etc.  Whatever you can think of that will help you feel like you are investing positively in YOU. 

Learn how to fall madly in love with YOU.

Thanks for reading, enjoy the rest of your day, LOVE YOURSELF... and BE PEACE POSITIVE!

REMEMBER:  You can't love someone from your cup... you have to love from your saucer... your overflow.  Meaning you have to love yourself FIRST before you can ever REALLY, TRULY love someone else properly. 

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nnYKoKwSLA
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL19qgVlFfY

AND.... to move forward in a positive direction in your life, you must LET THE PAST GO!

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuKB67Pt13s

Every year, I always view April Fool's Day as a sad day.  It is the day my mother's husband Bruce passed away almost two decades ago.  It was a very bizarre time in my life.   I was in my early 30's.

Two weeks before Bruce passed away... I was told he would die.  Although, I didn't know it was HIM that would die.  Two weeks before was when I had my very first ever encounter with a tarot reader.  I remember it like it was yesterday....

Her name was Brenda.  An older, kind woman who loved to decorate her house with primitive country decorations.  I would have NEVER guessed she was a psychic, medium, white witch who read tarot cards for 35+ years.  I was at her home doing a candle party for her.  Back then I sold candles through a company I had created called, Angelic Baskets and Candlelight.  I remember at the end of the night, she told me about her ability and asked me if I wanted a reading.  Coming for a strict religious upbringing... I declined and told her that I didn't believe in that sort of thing.  She asked me if I had ever had a reading?  I said NO.  She then said to me.... "How can you judge something you have never experienced?"  DAMN.... that was a GOOD question! 

So, against everything I had been taught as a child about God, tarot readers, hell, heaven, etc.... I accepted the invitation for a reading.  All the way up those stairs to the reading room, I kept saying, "OMG.... I can't believe I'm doing this!   I'm going to be in so much trouble!  God is gonna send me to hell!"  LOL!!!!  I was so religiously brainwashed!

The first thing she did was hand me a deck of cards and told me to shuffle them.  I asked her why and if she didn't know how to shuffle?   She chuckled and said to me, "Honey, I can't read your energy if you don't shuffle the cards."   I said, "What?  My energy?  What are you talking about?"   I had NO CLUE what she meant by that.  I had never thought of myself as "energy".  This was my first experience of being "enlightened".   Having my consciousness opened to areas of life that I was completely unaware of.

So I shuffled the cards and handed them back to her.   She asked me to cut the deck to.  I was almost annoyed.  Okay bossy lady!  She asked me if I had a question.  I said, "Why would I have a question?"  She said most people want to know something.  Like if their partner is cheating or if they will get a new job... stuff like that.  I said, "No, I don't have a question... just tell me whatever comes up."   She then laid out her Celtic cross on card at a time.... and then stared at the cards.... for a long time.... not saying a single word.  It was a little awkward. When she finally spoke, she said, "I have to apologize to you."   I said, "Why???"   She said, "Because what I am about to tell you, I am NOT supposed to tell you.  It is a rule in tarot reading that when you see this come across in someone's reading, you do not say anything about it.  But your Spirit Guides are SCREAMING at me that I MUST tell you this!  So I have to tell you." 

I must have looked at her like she had three heads.  I said, "What?  Spirit Guides?  And YOU can hear them???"   (Okay crazy lady!!!)  She said, "Yes, I have had a gift since I was three years old.  I can see the spirits of the dead and Spirit Guides.... and I can hear them too."

I wasn't really sure if I believed her or not.  But I didn't really believe in any of this so I thought.... Okay, whatever.  She went on to tell me what she saw.

She said, "You have a member of your family who is a non-blood relative.  A male.  He is in your family, but not of the same blood.  He is going to die in two weeks.  Do you know who this could be?"   I was kinda shocked and the only person I could think of was my step father who raised me.  She said, "Whoever this was did a lot of drugs when they were younger."   I said... ."Well, I don't think my step father did drugs."  She went on to say... "Your Guides are showing me how this man is going to die.  Do you want to know?"   Not really believing any of it... I said Okay. 

She said, "I'm not sure what this is.... but I see a ball of blood.  It may be a tumor.  This is how he is going to die."  Then she went on to tell me other things.  She said, "You have two women on power in your life.  A blond and a brunette."  She was RIGHT! I worked at D& H Physical Therapy in Pawtucket, RI at the time, and I had two female bosses.  (A married lesbian couple.  It was a family fun business... and it was horrible!)  She said, "The brunette is not a nice lady.  Do not trust her.  (She was right about that too!)  The blond one however.... exactly ONE week after this man dies.... she is going to have an emergency and she will be out of work for 2-3 months."   Then lastly, she picked up the very last card and said, "Oh look, you got the wheel of fortune card."   And I immediately thought... "I'm gonna win the LOTTERY!!!!"  And as soon as I thought it... she looked at me and said, "It's not money honey!"   I gasped inside and thought.... OMG, SHE CAN READ MY MIND!!!

She went on to say, "About six months after this man dies, you are going to get something.  But it is something tangible.  It could be jewelry, furniture, clothes, etc.   It's something physical, but NOT money."  (DAMN!)  The reading ends. 

I head home, and I decide to brush it all aside.  It can't be real.  I don't believe in these things. 

Two weeks go by.... TO THE DAY.   It's 10am and I am at my office.  The phone rings.  I pick it up.   It is Landmark Hospital in Woonsocket.  The nurse explains to me that my mother has given her permission for me to be told over the phone that her husband died this morning and she has to identify the body, but does not want to do it alone.  Can I come down and do it with her?  I gasped and dropped the phone! .

Bruce had died on April 1st.  April Fool's Day.  He was just 35 years old. (My mother married someone 15 years younger than her.  She always like the younger boys!)  It was his first day at a new job.  His new boss was bringing him to the garage he would be working in when on the way down the hill to that garage he suddenly collapsed and died on the spot.  The ambulance was called and he was rushed to the hospital.  But he was already gone. My mother had a difficult job that day trying to get people to believe her that Bruce had died.  She called his old job that he had been at for decades to get his life insurance information.  They teased her about it being April Fools.... "HaHaHa April Fools Paulette", they said.  She had to convince them that she was serious. 

I remember going into the room to help her identify the body.  I had NEVER in my life seen a dead body.  It was surreal.  He had blood coming out of every opening.  His eyes, ears, nose, mouth.  The autopsy would reveal that it was a ball of blood.  A bubble.  A left aortic aneurysm that had burst.  Killed him instantly.  

I remember having to drive his truck home.  That was so strange to me.  I wondered if he was in the truck with me while I was driving it.  It was HIS truck that he drove earlier that morning.  No one expected this.  Well, sort of. 

I had some guilt because I thought I could have prevented it because I was given knowledge that he was going to die.  Only I didn't realize it was HIM.  Bruce was my mothers third husband and not the step father that raised me.  I had to tell my mother that I knew.  At the funeral... I asked her, "Did Bruce do drugs when he was younger?"  She said, "Oh yes... he did."   She also told me that the night he died... she thinks he came back home to say goodbye.  She said it was a little after midnight, and she was just falling asleep with swollen eyes from crying all day.   Her two large dogs were in the bed with her.  She said all of a sudden, something kicked the bed so hard that it startled her and the dogs (terrified them) and all three of them jumped out of bed and stared at the bed.  She said she remembered that Bruce wore steel toed boots... and thought how it sounded like a boot kicking the bed.  So she took that as a Goodbye.  (Bruce would visit me a few months later... but that's a different story!)

All the other things the tarot reader told me came true also.  Every single one... and exactly WHEN she said they would happen.  My blond boss had to have an emergency lumbarectomy (came into work exactly one week after Bruce died in a wheelchair and announced that she would be out for two months), and my wheel of fortune card came true too. Six months later, my mom decided to sell their house (it was too much for her to take care of by herself) and she bought all new furniture when she moved... and gave me ALL of hers.  Living room set, bedroom set, kitchen set, desk, etc. 

That tarot reader later became a treasured friend, teacher and mentor.  She taught me how to read the tarot.  (I'm just too chicken to do it!)

So there you have it.... this is why April Fool's Day is a sad day to me. 

We miss you Bruce!  Happy April Fool's Day....

Saturday, (yesterday) after my shift at LaRose... I went straight to my new office to sign the lease and get the keys!   OMG... I can't believe my lifelong dream of having my very own office has finally come true! 

NOW.... TO DECORATE MY OFFICE!   God, I LOVE to decorate!  I want to make this office as soft, warm, inviting, soothing and relaxing as I possibly can with the tiny 10x10 space I have.  It's gonna be a tight squeeze, but I will do it... and do it WELL!  Because this part comes so naturally to me. 

To all my friends, family and fellow massage therapists.... YOU will have special massage rates.  Be sure to ask me about it!   I hope you all will come visit me in Foxboro for a professional, relaxing massage sometime.

As soon as I can, I will post pictures of the finished results.  But first.... I must PAINT!  

Then the state has to come down and do their establishment inspection so I can get my Establishment License.  Once that is done.... I can officially open up shop and start seeing clients.  I'm hoping by mid-late May.

My new private office location will be:

40 Mechanic Street
Suite 102A
Foxboro, MA  02035

Yesterday I had such a great day. 🌞 Waters work was busy... But good as always. After Waters... When I got to LaRose for my massage shift....my first client was supposed to be a prenatal client. But I discovered that she cancelled and I now had a client named Donna. Little did I realize it was the Donna that I worked with that was also a massage therapist. That.made me VERY nervous.

I've never had to massage a fellow co-worker / massage therapist. Its intimidating massaging a fellow massage therapist because you feel.like you get judged or critiqued. Its a good thing... But it also makes you nervous. What if they hate it? So before the massage I told her I was nervous... and she said don't worry about it...."I always get nervous massaging another therapist too."

So I did my massage and left the room. When she came out... I was in the linen closet getting sheets. She came into the closet and said to me. "Don't you EVER be nervous to give another therapist a massage! Kehrey... that was one of the BEST massages I have ever gotten in my entire LIFE! That was AMAZING!!!" I swear to God... I wanted to cry and held back my tears. It made me so happy inside to feel that... Hey... I am really good at "something" in my life and people appreciate that.

So my next client shows up... She is a regular and I am happy to see her. Some clients almost become good friends that you see once a month... and every month you "catch up" on life events with each other. She was one of those.

So I finish the massage... She is always happy with it. I come out to the reception area and the receptionist (who basically runs LaRose... for 17 years), says to me with a huge smile on her face.... "Go check your phone!" I said "Why?" She said... "Just when you get a chance, go check your phone." So a few minutes later, I go check my phone and discover our new boss (new owner of LaRose) texted me to.let me know that while I was massaging my second client... Donna (who has been at LaRose for 11 years) had been RAVING about the massage she had just received to Wendy. She told Wendy... "Thats one of the BEST (if not the best) massages I have ever gotten... Excellent!" Well at that time, the boss calls in and he hears about it too. And he was so pleased he made it a point to reach out and tell me how much he appreciated that I am on his team... and appreciates that I give so much when I give someone a massage.

I told him that I treat EVERY client as I would treat myself...Every time I give it ALL I've got. I want every client to get off that table and feel like they just had the most amazing, relaxing experience and WANT to come back. 💕