Every year, I always view April Fool's Day as a sad day. It is the day my mother's husband Bruce passed away almost two decades ago. It was a very bizarre time in my life. I was in my early 30's.
Two weeks before Bruce passed away... I was told he would die. Although, I didn't know it was HIM that would die. Two weeks before was when I had my very first ever encounter with a tarot reader. I remember it like it was yesterday....
Her name was Brenda. An older, kind woman who loved to decorate her house with primitive country decorations. I would have NEVER guessed she was a psychic, medium, white witch who read tarot cards for 35+ years. I was at her home doing a candle party for her. Back then I sold candles through a company I had created called, Angelic Baskets and Candlelight. I remember at the end of the night, she told me about her ability and asked me if I wanted a reading. Coming for a strict religious upbringing... I declined and told her that I didn't believe in that sort of thing. She asked me if I had ever had a reading? I said NO. She then said to me.... "How can you judge something you have never experienced?" DAMN.... that was a GOOD question!
So, against everything I had been taught as a child about God, tarot readers, hell, heaven, etc.... I accepted the invitation for a reading. All the way up those stairs to the reading room, I kept saying, "OMG.... I can't believe I'm doing this! I'm going to be in so much trouble! God is gonna send me to hell!" LOL!!!! I was so religiously brainwashed!
The first thing she did was hand me a deck of cards and told me to shuffle them. I asked her why and if she didn't know how to shuffle? She chuckled and said to me, "Honey, I can't read your energy if you don't shuffle the cards." I said, "What? My energy? What are you talking about?" I had NO CLUE what she meant by that. I had never thought of myself as "energy". This was my first experience of being "enlightened". Having my consciousness opened to areas of life that I was completely unaware of.
So I shuffled the cards and handed them back to her. She asked me to cut the deck to. I was almost annoyed. Okay bossy lady! She asked me if I had a question. I said, "Why would I have a question?" She said most people want to know something. Like if their partner is cheating or if they will get a new job... stuff like that. I said, "No, I don't have a question... just tell me whatever comes up." She then laid out her Celtic cross on card at a time.... and then stared at the cards.... for a long time.... not saying a single word. It was a little awkward. When she finally spoke, she said, "I have to apologize to you." I said, "Why???" She said, "Because what I am about to tell you, I am NOT supposed to tell you. It is a rule in tarot reading that when you see this come across in someone's reading, you do not say anything about it. But your Spirit Guides are SCREAMING at me that I MUST tell you this! So I have to tell you."
I must have looked at her like she had three heads. I said, "What? Spirit Guides? And YOU can hear them???" (Okay crazy lady!!!) She said, "Yes, I have had a gift since I was three years old. I can see the spirits of the dead and Spirit Guides.... and I can hear them too."
I wasn't really sure if I believed her or not. But I didn't really believe in any of this so I thought.... Okay, whatever. She went on to tell me what she saw.
She said, "You have a member of your family who is a non-blood relative. A male. He is in your family, but not of the same blood. He is going to die in two weeks. Do you know who this could be?" I was kinda shocked and the only person I could think of was my step father who raised me. She said, "Whoever this was did a lot of drugs when they were younger." I said... ."Well, I don't think my step father did drugs." She went on to say... "Your Guides are showing me how this man is going to die. Do you want to know?" Not really believing any of it... I said Okay.
She said, "I'm not sure what this is.... but I see a ball of blood. It may be a tumor. This is how he is going to die." Then she went on to tell me other things. She said, "You have two women on power in your life. A blond and a brunette." She was RIGHT! I worked at D& H Physical Therapy in Pawtucket, RI at the time, and I had two female bosses. (A married lesbian couple. It was a family fun business... and it was horrible!) She said, "The brunette is not a nice lady. Do not trust her. (She was right about that too!) The blond one however.... exactly ONE week after this man dies.... she is going to have an emergency and she will be out of work for 2-3 months." Then lastly, she picked up the very last card and said, "Oh look, you got the wheel of fortune card." And I immediately thought... "I'm gonna win the LOTTERY!!!!" And as soon as I thought it... she looked at me and said, "It's not money honey!" I gasped inside and thought.... OMG, SHE CAN READ MY MIND!!!
She went on to say, "About six months after this man dies, you are going to get something. But it is something tangible. It could be jewelry, furniture, clothes, etc. It's something physical, but NOT money." (DAMN!) The reading ends.
I head home, and I decide to brush it all aside. It can't be real. I don't believe in these things.
Two weeks go by.... TO THE DAY. It's 10am and I am at my office. The phone rings. I pick it up. It is Landmark Hospital in Woonsocket. The nurse explains to me that my mother has given her permission for me to be told over the phone that her husband died this morning and she has to identify the body, but does not want to do it alone. Can I come down and do it with her? I gasped and dropped the phone! .
Bruce had died on April 1st. April Fool's Day. He was just 35 years old. (My mother married someone 15 years younger than her. She always like the younger boys!) It was his first day at a new job. His new boss was bringing him to the garage he would be working in when on the way down the hill to that garage he suddenly collapsed and died on the spot. The ambulance was called and he was rushed to the hospital. But he was already gone. My mother had a difficult job that day trying to get people to believe her that Bruce had died. She called his old job that he had been at for decades to get his life insurance information. They teased her about it being April Fools.... "HaHaHa April Fools Paulette", they said. She had to convince them that she was serious.
I remember going into the room to help her identify the body. I had NEVER in my life seen a dead body. It was surreal. He had blood coming out of every opening. His eyes, ears, nose, mouth. The autopsy would reveal that it was a ball of blood. A bubble. A left aortic aneurysm that had burst. Killed him instantly.
I remember having to drive his truck home. That was so strange to me. I wondered if he was in the truck with me while I was driving it. It was HIS truck that he drove earlier that morning. No one expected this. Well, sort of.
I had some guilt because I thought I could have prevented it because I was given knowledge that he was going to die. Only I didn't realize it was HIM. Bruce was my mothers third husband and not the step father that raised me. I had to tell my mother that I knew. At the funeral... I asked her, "Did Bruce do drugs when he was younger?" She said, "Oh yes... he did." She also told me that the night he died... she thinks he came back home to say goodbye. She said it was a little after midnight, and she was just falling asleep with swollen eyes from crying all day. Her two large dogs were in the bed with her. She said all of a sudden, something kicked the bed so hard that it startled her and the dogs (terrified them) and all three of them jumped out of bed and stared at the bed. She said she remembered that Bruce wore steel toed boots... and thought how it sounded like a boot kicking the bed. So she took that as a Goodbye. (Bruce would visit me a few months later... but that's a different story!)
All the other things the tarot reader told me came true also. Every single one... and exactly WHEN she said they would happen. My blond boss had to have an emergency lumbarectomy (came into work exactly one week after Bruce died in a wheelchair and announced that she would be out for two months), and my wheel of fortune card came true too. Six months later, my mom decided to sell their house (it was too much for her to take care of by herself) and she bought all new furniture when she moved... and gave me ALL of hers. Living room set, bedroom set, kitchen set, desk, etc.
That tarot reader later became a treasured friend, teacher and mentor. She taught me how to read the tarot. (I'm just too chicken to do it!)
So there you have it.... this is why April Fool's Day is a sad day to me.
We miss you Bruce! Happy April Fool's Day....